A Series of Increasingly Urgent Chernobyl-Related Headlines Ultimately Rejected by Pravda

photo by Clay Gilliland

photo by Clay Gilliland

Ukrainian Socialist Republic Weather Service Reports Unseasonably Warm Rains

Heating Needs for Ukrainian Socialist Republic Solved Well Ahead of Winter, 1986

The Imperialist Hans Blix Spreads Hysterical Falsehoods in Wake of Absolutely Nothing to See Here

Mistakes Were Possibly Made — by Counterrevolutionary Saboteurs and Agents of Foreign Powers

Trotskyite-Wrecker Plot to Destroy Socialism Thwarted by UFO Attack on Chernobyl Plant

The Historical Process of De-Kulakization and Liquidation of Class Enemies Is Now Complete in Ukraine

Ukrainian Food Exports Surge: Cooking No Longer Required

Revolutionary Lysenkoist Genetic Experiment in Grain Transmutation Launches in Chernobyl

Stakhanovite Laborers Embark on Final Five-Year Plan

Patriotic Socialist Engineers Preserve Motherland of Northern Ukraine for 200 Generations of Frogs and Foxes

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